


Diametrically Opposed

by TheImmortalTrio



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Hamilton the musical, Jamilton - Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-07-12 12:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7103686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheImmortalTrio/pseuds/TheImmortalTrio
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson despise one another- obviously. But when Washington has had enough of their bickering and assigns them to work together on a project, their relationship may begin to change for the better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Cabinet Battle

**Author's Note:**

> Updates weekly ~

Jefferson sighed and leaned back in his chair with a small creak, closing his eyes and dimming the quiet, friendly chatter floating through the conference room. In mere moments he was back in Monticello, far away from the noise and suffocation of a city like D.C., far larger and more crowded and unwieldy than any place had a right to be. But back in Virginia, in his home, on his land, there were gently rolling hills covered in verdant green grass, tall trees with tops so luscious and full that they seemed to spill over and reach for the ground, providing inviting patches of shade perfect for any number of relaxing activities. And the flowers lining the walkways in the front, vibrant colours just beautifully - _ scratchscratchscratch-  _ and just like that, back to the present.

A sharp spike of irritation rose in Jefferson's mind upon looking around to find that no, the meeting was not currently about to begin. Washington hadn’t even yet made an appearance, so then why had his peaceful reflections been interrupted, and by what? It was after taking a moment to compose himself, he did have an image to uphold as being cool and collected after all, that Jefferson chanced a glance to his right and discovered the source of his distraction.

_ Of course,  _ he smirked minutely, taking in the sight of a bedraggled and flushed Alexander Hamilton, writing frantically on what appeared to be no more than a napkin.  _ Look at those bags under his eyes, it's as if he hasn't slept in days…and knowing him and his habits he likely hasn't. And what in the name of Paris is he wearing?  _ Thomas's lips curved unbidden into an expression of disgust at the picture Hamilton presented; pale from lack of sleep with messy hair pulled into a half bun hanging off the top of his head, and sporting a wrinkled suit with suspiciously ink-like stains scattered about.  _ It's like he never learned how to dress himself. I wonder if he can even properly match his socks- nope. Black and navy. This man needs a girlfriend, or a mother.  _

“You know, Hamilton” Jefferson drawled leisurely, turning to the front and smirking slightly to himself, “I always look forward to seeing how disheveled and exhausted you can appear. Sometimes I truly wonder how it is you're even allowed anywhere near our meetings. Tell me, how many times have you been stopped by security and directed to the cemetery?”

The irritating scratching stopped, and Thomas could hear Hamilton shifting to face him. “Well, you know Jefferson, I have more to think about than just my appearance. But I guess it isn't your fault that all you have the capacity to care for is your quaint little piece of land out in Virginia.” The scratching resumed.

Jefferson gripped the arm of his chair tightly in an effort to quell the anger that rose up at Hamilton's comment.  _ For a bastard, orphaned immigrant, this man sure has an inflated sense of self. And what is he even writing- how is he always writing?  _ “And what,” Jefferson turned again to face Hamilton, “could possibly be so important that you seem to have neglected sleep for a week, and are now writing like you're running out of time on a _ napkin?” _

The Secretary of the Treasury looked up, somehow managing to appear even more frazzled staring up from his position hunched over his napkin with pen in hand, his eyes wide in an expression that might be deemed cute if he didn't have the look of a frenzied psychopath in that moment. But his surprise quickly passed and he was sitting up straight and smirking in the most infuriating manner, “Funny you should ask Jefferson. This happens to be a draft of my proposal for some changes to our financial system. “

“Catering to Wall Street, I'm guessing. I thought we made it very clear last time, Hamilton- you simply don't have the votes, even after you've traded New York for the Potomac your plan is a danger to our nation,” Jefferson quipped as he stood and stretched.

“What are you doing?”

“The meeting’s about to start, and I don't think I can handle any more of your nervous energy. Good luck, Hamilton. “ Jefferson stood and practically sashayed over to where James Madison sat, leaving Hamilton to glare at his retreating form.

“Gentleman,” Washington made his appearance through the side door near the front of the room, “I'm running late, so let's get settled and begin this meeting.”

That cut off any retort Hamilton may have been thinking of flinging at Jefferson’s back, and the man settled back into his seat, irritation making him forget the next line he was going to write. There was a gentle commotion as all members of the cabinet migrated to a seat and ended their conversations, sitting and staring patiently at where George Washington sat in the front of the room. Once the shuffling had died down, Washington cleared his throat and began. “The issue on the table: France is on the verge of war with England. Do we provide aid and troops to our French allies or do we stay out of it? Remember, my decision on this matter is not subject to congressional approval. The only person you have to convince, is me. Secretary Jefferson, you have the floor sir. “

Hamilton watched, fuming silently, as Jefferson sauntered up to the middle of the floor with that infuriating swagger of his, lazily glancing about the room before beginning his argument. “When we were on death’s door, when we were needy   
We made a promise, we signed a treaty   
We needed money and guns and half a chance   
Who provided those funds?”

Jefferson looked straight at Hamilton with a smirk as the answer, ‘France’, was muttered by various people in the room. “That's right. France. Without requiring anything in return, it was France that helped us become a free nation. The only thing they asked was that we have their back in times of need. Now the French seek to follow in our footsteps- who are we to abandon them and break one of our first promises ever made as a free state?” Jefferson let his question hang in the air, the pause filled with murmurs of agreement from others in the room. Except, of course, from Hamilton.

Hamilton sat quietly glaring at Jefferson, scoffing inwardly- and quite possibly outwardly- at his sentimental defense of providing aid to the French.  _ Of course he wants to get involved- the Francophile… He missed out on the whole of our revolution, rather convenient I suppose, off getting high with the French while we all almost died in a trench. _

_ “ _ I know that Alexander Hamilton is here and he would rather not have this debate, but allow me to be the first to remind you: He is not Secretary of State. In fact, based on his ambition and desperateness to rise above his station, along with the disloyalty that makes this issue uncomfortable for him, I'd go as far as to say that his ideas completely betray the ideals of our nation.” This entire bit was delivered staring straight at Hamilton, who glared fiercely back, ire rising to a barely containable level at Jefferson's words. “Hey, and if you don't know, now you know, Mr. President.” Jefferson gave a little bow and once again sauntered over to his seat, sitting down among the snickers and grins of his little possé. 

“Thank you, Secretary Jefferson,” sounded through the small room, the hard tone silencing any remaining conversation. “Secretary Hamilton,” Washington managed to capture the man's attention from where he was silently boiling over in his seat. “Your response.”

Washington kept eye contact with Hamilton as the man walked to the middle of the room with hands clenched into fists, silently begging Hamilton to be on his best behavior and willing his response to be mature and collected. The smirk he received in response did nothing to alleviate his worries about another imminent screaming match.

Hamilton arrived at his position in the middle of the room and smiled  for a moment, locking eyes with Jefferson who could clearly see the fire burning behind the gentle expression.

Washington did his best to resist the urge to hide his head in his hands, instead discreetly looking up to the sky in a gesture that said, ‘dear Lord help me to endure’.

And Hamilton took a deep breath. “You must be out of your Goddamn mind if you think the President is gonna bring the nation to the brink of meddling in the middle of a military mess, a game of chess, where France is Queen and Kingless?”

Jefferson half stood and called out angrily, “We signed a treaty stating that we would help if-”   
“We signed a treaty with a King whose head is now in a basket would you like to take it out and ask it,   
“Should we honor our treaty, King Louis’ head?”   
“Uh… do whatever you want, I’m super dead.”’

Just as Jefferson opened his mouth to respond, Washington stood and held up a hand. “Enough, enough. Hamilton is right. We’re too fragile to enter into another conflict. Hamilton, draft a statement of neutrality.”

As Washington escaped quickly without allowing a scandalized Jefferson and crew to respond, Hamilton stood smirking in the center of the floor. When he responded to Washington's order with a satisfied ‘Yes, sir’, Jefferson felt a wave of uncontrolled anger flush through him.  _ This little shit…how could he go and betray Lafayette like this without even batting an eyelash?  _ And he said as much as he turned to face Hamilton, revelling in the flash of guilt that appeared in his face as the others in the room watched quietly, painfully aware of the tension in the room, and Washington listened frozen from the doorway.

“Lafayette is a smart man, he'll be fine,” Hamilton finally responded. “We can't fight in every revolution in the world, Jefferson. If we do we never stop.”

“You know Hamilton, half the people in this room are too starstruck by your  _ precociousness _ to ever tell you, so allow me to be the one to remind you of this. You are _ nothing _ without Washington behind you.”

During the course of the passionate interchange, Jefferson had migrated to the center of the room and was standing barely a foot away from Hamilton, both glaring intently as the room’s other occupants looked on in anxious apprehension. There was a brief pause following Jefferson's last statement in which Hamilton started incredulously at Jefferson, who looked back with a face that had lost his previous composure, momentarily betraying his slight surprise at what had flown out of his mouth.

Hamilton's mouth began to open, and Washington, in an effort to end the scene there, called out to him sharply, but was left wondering just when and where he signed up for babysitting a group of adult men when Jefferson recovered his smirk and shooed Hamilton along with a  gasp and “Daddy’s calling.”

Hamilton screwed his eyes shut and seemed to contemplate something for a brief second before nodding to himself. “I think this would be an appropriate time to say fuck you, Jefferson.”

Before anyone in the room had time to react, Jefferson was stumbling back from the force of Hamilton's first impacting the side of his face, and the room erupted into chaos: the politicians all started to yell at the same time as Madison rushed to Jefferson's side and Hamilton attempted to rush the door, the volume and intensity of the arguing in the room growing by the second. Just as Hamilton's hand touched the door handle Washington let loose an authoritative, “All of you, shut up.” The entire room froze. “You are all dismissed for the day. Except for you two, Hamilton, Jefferson. I'll be in my office. You two can meet me inside.”

  
  



	2. Meet Me Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet him inside, meet him inside, meet inside, meet meet him inside!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's church camp good for? Lots of free time to write gay fanfiction ~~~

“You two can meet me inside.” The words were left ringing in the air as Washington swept out of the room. The room's occupants were eerily silent for all of three seconds, before everyone except the two in question stood and, making loud and frantic excuses, fled the scene, leaving the room completely devoid of sound. Hamilton and Jefferson simply stared at the door where Washington made his edit, each man appearing to experience a mix of shock and embarrassment.

“I suppose we should…” Hamilton nodded towards the door.

Jefferson recovered immediately, sneering at Hamilton and marching of in the direction of Washington's office.  _ What a bastard. Washington is legitimately pissed and we both know how difficult that is to accomplish, so how can he still be so cocky and assured?  _ Hamilton fumed, following Jefferson at a distance, itching to start a fight but still chastened enough to make an effort at restraining himself. The men walked in silence down the hallway leading to the office, occasionally paying a co-worker who would simply give them a sympathetic look and skitter on their way. Both men stopped at Washington's office door, which stood larger and more imposing than it usually seemed. Alexander turned to Jefferson and gestured towards the door. “Be my guest.”

Jefferson rolled his eyes and smirked, but Hamilton was able to detect some hesitation in the way Jefferson knocked on the door. They heard a cold and low ‘come in’, slightly muffled through the door. Once again neither man moved, and just as the irritation welled up in Hamilton enough that he reached for the door, a slightly red and very much glaring Washington opened it and simply pointed inside. Jefferson and Hamilton quickly entered and sat in front of Washington's desk. The air was almost suffocatingly tense as Washington say in his chair-  _ it's bigger than ours, that's an intimidation tactic. Usually I'd refuse to back down, but right now I think it's working-  _ and leaned back, all folded arms and nonchalance. “So,” he began, “I never realised I was running a babysitting service for grown men with an affinity for politically charged discussions. I must say, I do not particularly enjoy it.”

Hamilton, sitting ramrod straight and tense with nervous energy, suddenly spouted out, “Jefferson started it! How am I expected to ensure pointless personal attacks and not fight back!”

Out of the corner of his eye Hamilton saw Jefferson turn in his seat and, anticipating a response, opened his mouth to continue, but for once in his life was unable to get a word in.

“Maybe I wouldn't have to attack you,  _ Hamilton, _ if you would stand by your promises and not abandon your friends, simply because they have no further political worth to you! “

Hamilton, visibly fuming, turned to face Jefferson and spat out, “Well it's obvious that you never consider the needs of anyone beyond the boundaries of your precious Monticello; maybe if you did you'd see that another war and a quaint little farming economy aren't what this country needs!”

Before Jefferson could respond Washington cut in, grabbing Hamilton by the arm to get his attention off of Jefferson. “Son-”

“I'm not your son.”

“Well you need to pull yourself together.”

“I'm sorry sir, but these Virginians are all the same, and so close knit that it’s impossible to talk any sense into them!”

Washington's eyes flashed with genuine anger. “Young man, I'm from Virginia, I suggest you watch your mouth.” 

“Well Alexander, I knew you had some gall, but I never thought you'd go so far as to insult the only reason you are where you are today,” came the snide quip from Jefferson, who had been watching the exchange with mild amusement, smirk growing with Hamilton's frustration.

“This is why I called you both in.” Washington interceded. “You act like children, treat each other with no respect, and all you do is argue constantly. This nation needs progress, but none can be made with you two acting like this.”

“But Mr. President, any time I try to negotiate Jefferson won't hear it, James Madison won't even talk to me! There's no compromising to be done!” Hamilton leaned forward and spoke with desperation.

“There can't be negotiation here, Washington. Hamilton just needs to realize that his ideas are flawed, and we can all be on our merry way.” Jefferson looked smug but Hamilton had observed him enough to recognize the unnatural tension in his posture- Jefferson was terribly uncomfortable, and somewhere in the back of his mind Hamilton was savoring the sight.

“You will compromise. But it appears you will have to be forced to come to an agreement.” Washington seemed grave.

_ He's probably going to schedule extra meetings and make us come in early- god. I already see Jefferson's face at least four times a week,I don't need to be seeing that ugly mug extra early. Not that's he's particularly ugly, unfortunately… But his face does have this inherent quality that possess me off as soon as I lay eyes on it.  _

_ “ _ I have decided,” Washington continued, calmly looking each man in the eyes, “that you two will work as partners on a special project. This project is in addition to your regular duties, and will require quite a bit of your time to be spent together working out the details. “

Jefferson and Hamilton stared dumbly at the president, neither making a sound. Washington took the opportunity to continue. “I think it would be a good idea for you two to move past your political differences and learn how to reach a consensus without telling and fighting like you tend to do. “

At that statement both secretaries broke out of their states of shock and began to dissent rather loudly, gesturing wildly and including some rather colorful phrases. Alexander felt his face grow red and, in his panic about being consigned to work with Jefferson, he let loose a flurry of pleas and indignant statements without thinking, only faintly noticing Jefferson was doing the same. Washington cut in once again with an air of finality. “No. Your inability to work together stops now- I've already informed the leader of this project that you'd be assisting her. “

Hamilton sat with his hands gripping his trousers and ground or through clenched teeth, “And what exactly is it that we will be doing?”

Washington seemed to take the men's relative silence as a sign of resignation, and relaxed a bit before responding. “Both of your are familiar with senator Philip Schuyler?” Both men nodded. “His middle daughter, Elizabeth, is in the process of establishing the first private orphanage in New York City.”

At the mention of an orphanage Hamilton looked up, with a stunned expression, but immediately caught himself and looked back down at his lap with a scowl.  _ Contain yourself, Alexander. There's no need to give Jefferson additional ammo. Getting emotional will only make him think you're weak. _

“And why did this necessitate our help?” Hamilton glanced at Jefferson with a frown, taking in the man's irritated expression as he asked the question.  _ What a heartless bastard. I bet he drinks the years of orphans with his morning cereal, or grits, or whatever southern shit it is that he eats. _

“Miss Schuyler, in a conversation with me, confided that she was having difficulty raising funds for the orphanage. Apparently her potential investors are not clamoring to aid the poor children of New York City.” Washington started directly at Hamilton, rather obviously attempting to make make the man angry enough that he would agree to help without any more dissention. Hamilton kept his gaze fixed firmly on a pencil sitting beside Washington’s hand. Jefferson snorted rather inelegantly, causing both Washington and Hamilton to look questioningly at him, and also only irritating Hamilton further.

“And why is this our problem? If the daughter of a rich senator wants to set up an orphanage let her do it with her own money or find a way to raise it herself. I don't understand how on earth you expect us to help her. “

Before Washington had a chance to explain, or give a command, Hamilton, in one of his infamous moments of impulsive decisions, spurted out “ We'll do it. “

There was another moment of stunned silence before Washington grabbed both men by the arm and ushered them out of the office with words of thanks. Before either man could protest they were standing in the hallway and the door to the office was being shut in their faces.

“Wait!” Jefferson banged on the door. “We have no idea how to contact Schuyler, or what we're actually supposed to be doing in this project!”

“I'll send you a contact for Miss Schuyler, and she can tell you everything you need to know. You are both dismissed for the day.”

Jefferson sighed angrily as Hamilton shifted his weight back and forth, a bit hesitant in the face on Jefferson's ire. “Well I suppose that's settled.”

Jefferson turned to glare at Hamilton who started back with a smug smile, before grabbing his arm and beginning to drag him through the hallway. Hamilton's anger flared and he let out a series of curses and insults, stopping only when Jefferson pulled him into an empty conference room and dropped his hand. “What the hell was that Jefferson!”

Jefferson simply say in a chair, his relaxed attitude restored, and gestured to the seat across from him. “Please, Hamilton, take a seat. Let's have a talk about your most recent incident of impulsive stupidity.”

Hamilton huffed and took the seat, his posture tense and straight contrasting with the lazy grace Jefferson embodied. “I don't make stood decisions, Jefferson. I believe that you're the only one here with an affinity for stupid ideas- just look at that myopic viewpoint you shared earlier with the-”

“Hamilton.” Jefferson held up a hand. “I am not going to have a spat with you right now about why my ideas are more correct than yours. I want to know why exactly you told Washington that we'd help with his little charity project. “

Hamilton managed to grind out a snarky response through clenched teeth. “Isn't it obvious,  _ Thomas?  _ I just love spending my free time with the likes of  _ you.” _

Jefferson laughed and smiled wryly. “And here I was worried you agreed because you finally decided to stop being such a stubborn bastard. If you're going to lie at least do it well.”

“I thought you didn't want to argue- that sounds like you want me to fight you.”

Jefferson heaved a long-suffering sigh. “Maybe, Hamilton, you are really just constantly belying your insecurities and impulsiveness with your insistence upon turning your every interaction, every teasing comment made in passing, into a challenge that you have to win. “

Hamilton sat with a stunned expression, causing Jefferson to fake a look of surprise. “Did I render the man speechless? This is truly a great day- I'm going to tell Washington. Do you think he'll name it a national holiday? He definitely should. Now how about you tell me the real reason why you just gave up? I always had you owned as too stubborn an ass to give into something just to save yourself a little pain- it's always like pulling teeth with you. “

Hamilton sighed and looked directly at Jefferson and began. “You know that I'm a bastard orphan. Life was hard, Jefferson, especially back on the island. I was fending for myself at the age of twelve- working and trying to feed myself on practically nothing. The only reason I was able to get to where I am now is because I was lucky- lucky to have a talent in writing, lucky that the town had its eyes on me, and lucky that they were willing to send me here. Most of those kids aren't so lucky. When I think of them I see myself, and I can't help but wonder, what if I wasn't so lucky? And in ask honestly, I have never come up with an answer to that question that wasn't terrifying. So I will help establish this orphanage and you may wheels your way out if you want, but it's in both of our best interests to just suck it up and work together so that we can get out of each other's ways as quick as possible. “

Hamilton delivered his speel hardly taking a breath, and finished red in the face and panting. Jefferson looked taken aback. “I will admit that I did not know the extent of your connection to the subject, and though it does not make you any less of an insufferable prick I will agree to work with you on this project.” Jefferson offered his hand, and rolled his eyes when Hamilton looked confused. “It's a handshake, Hamilton. Washington wants us to make nice and I think this is about as friendly as it will get.”

Hamilton finally took his hand and shook it. Just then the door opened, and James Madison entered. Madison stared at Jefferson and Hamilton's interlocked hands for a moment and then coughed and looked up. “So, uh, what exactly did I miss here?”


	3. What'd I Miss?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's fill in the squad on what went down in Washington's office...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to mention, I have an editor, my lovely fiancée(ish)! Thanks K.K! Aka WriteNotFight :)

  


“Hold on Alex, let me get this straight. So, Washington finally had enough of you and Jefferson acting like five year olds and just generally being the most annoying shits in the cabinet, and was so fed up that he stopped a meeting-”

“You know all of that Mulligan don't rub it in my face, you were _ there _ in the meeting as a guest watching and I'm sure I saw you trying not to laugh you ass-”

“He stopped a meeting, yelled you an invitation- nay, a command- to his office, just so he could yell at you two some more?”

Hamilton sighed and nodded, deciding to ignore the amusement in Hercules Mulligan’s voice for the moment. “Yes.”

Laurens shrugged and tilted his head, looking questioningly at the two men from across the small, rickety table. “So? That doesn't sound new- I don't understand how Washington finally getting too fed up with your antics to deal anymore warrants an emergency get together. The fighting and yelling and telling off all sound pretty standard to me.”

Mulligan grinned and practically cackled -cackled! Like a witch! Alexander didn't know Mulligan could reach that octave- as he shifted in his chair, leaning forward and making an exaggerated sweep of the room, as if he were about to tell a secret. “It's not the fighting and the getting told off that I called you here for, John. It's the punishment Alex, both of them actually, got dealt. And the fact that the telling ended with Jefferson and Hamilton holding hands in an empty conference room.”

Hamilton slammed his cup on the small table, making an, admittedly pathetic rather than dramatic or enraged, clunking sound, just as Laurens finally cracked a small shit-eating grin to match Mulligan's. “Alexander?”

“No, no, no, and no. We were not holding hands. It was a handshake. Totally professional. And you,” here Hamilton turned to the red-faced and laughing Mulligan, “get that stupid smile off of your face right this second.”

Mulligan took a deep breath and held up his hands in a gesture of reconciliation, before holding up a hand like a blinder and conspiratorially whispering to Laurens. “I bet five bucks they had hate sex on a table.”

Hamilton swiveled and glared furiously. “Why you little-”

“Okay, okay. No hate sex on a table. Too bad, that's pretty hot.” Meanwhile, Alexander looked at Laurens with incredulous disgust. “Oh don't look at me like that Alexander. People would pay to watch that. Anyways, Mulligan said something about a punishment? “

“You mean this isn't my punishment? Listening to my two best friends joke about me having intercourse with that _ thing? _ ” Mulligan shrugged and Laurens only rolled his eyes. Alex sighed and raked his fingers through his hair, only succeeding in making it look more disheveled than before. “Me and the Virginian bastard have to work together on a project. “

“For how long?” 

Mulligan answered for Hamilton, who had taken to dejectedly picking at his bitten down nails. “Indefinitely. Could be days, months, even _ years _ in the making.”

Alex groaned and hid his face in his hands. Laurens just laughed and gave up communicating with Hamilton. “What exactly do they have to do?”

“They're going to help Miss Eliza Schuyler found the first private orphanage in New York City.”

John smiled sincerely, not that Hamilton could see it. “That's so great. Helping little kids like you, Alex. I don't get why you're so pissy, that doesn't sound half bad.”

“Plus, Eliza Schuyler is single. Maybe what you really need, Alex, is to get laid. How long has it been since the last-”

“It's bad, John.” Hamilton cut in and, completely ignoring Mulligan's contribution to the conversation but sending him a telepathical ‘fuck you, man’, chose to look at Laurens with wide, agitated eyes. “Not only do I have to work with Jefferson for who knows how long, he also saw my one weakness.”

Mulligan snorted. “One? Man, I couldn't count on my hands the number of-’

“The point is,” Hamilton half yelled over Hercules, “Jefferson watched while Washington deliberately softened my resolve by talking about the _ poor children, _ and saw me break and crumble and give in. And then I practically begged him to work with me and try not to hurt my feelings. Absolutely pathetic. “

Laurens sighed and took a sip of his coffee, something Hamilton noticed he did often to get more time to plan his answer to a particularly difficult comment or question. “I doubt you begged. You never stoop, Alex, and I don't think you ever will-”

“Even if it'd save your scrawny ass-”

“Thanks, Hercules. Anyway, I think this'd be good for you. Learn how to compromise, make nice with Jefferson and make your job a little easier because of it.”

“Who knows, maybe the two of you could even become the best of friends, or at least you know, not piss all over each other any chance you get.” 

“Mulligan. You think that I have the potential to become good friends with Thomas Jefferson?”

Hercules shrugged. “You never know, man. I never thought you and Aaron Burr would get along.”

“We don't.” Alex stated flatly, causing the other two men to chuckle.

“Well Alex, me and Hercules here have just assigned you to mission befriend and/or stop completely loathing Thomas Jefferson. Now, I wrote a new essay against slavery I was hoping you'd read.” Laurens rummaged through his beat up bag and pulled out a sheath of papers about a half inch thick, pushing it across the table to Hamilton and Mulligan. “Tell me what you think. It starts out…”

  


\-----------------------------

  


“So Washington finally got, how you say, ‘over’ you and Alexander's fighting?” Jefferson nodded glumly, while Lafayette turned to Madison. “This all sounds rather blasé to me- what else happened Madison? “

Jefferson continued staring up at the evening sky as the three walked along, allowing Madison to shift to the middle of their little line to talk easier with Lafayette. “Well, Thomas and Hamilton had another little episode in a cabinet meeting, and Washington actually took it upon himself to punish them this time.”

Lafayette raised his eyebrows almost comically. “What? You pissed off gentle, meek George Washington enough that he felt the need to dole out punishment?“

Jefferson shrugged and sighed. “Apparently so. Today's fight wasn't even that bad- I'm sure I've never thought of me and Hamilton being that uncouth. Hamilton, maybe, but certainly not myself.“

Madison laughed, a loud, boisterous laugh that was too honest about his thoughts on that statement for Thomas's taste. “Not that bad? Thomas. Please. You two are constantly at each other's throats. I think everyone in the cabinet is tired of your yelling and fighting, not to mention the pranks you two pull- though those are, admittedly, rather hilarious.”

“Pranks?” Lafayette looked intrigued. “What sort of shenanigans have you and mon petite Alex been pulling?”

Jefferson grumbled and kicked lazily at a rock in his path. “Pranks, I don't prank. That makes it sound so infantile, Hamilton pranks, I convey my discontent with witty comments and pointed actions. “

Madison snorted. “Hah, yeah. Witty actions my ass. Listen, if replacing all the ink in Hamilton's favourite fountain pens with lemon juice and letting him write an entire essay before realizing nothing had been recorded isn't a prank, then I'm a Federalist. “

Lafayette laughed and Thomas just broke character even further to whine, “Well, it's not my fault the man decided to come in at two in the morning and start writing in such a frenzy that the moron couldn't even tell there was absolutely _ nothing _ on the paper!”

Lafayette clapped Thomas on the back and grinned. “I know Alexander could not have been thrilled with you after that, mon ami.”

Thomas cracked a small smile and kicked another rock, not even bothering to despair about the new scuff mark on his pristine shoes. “He realized a couple hours before the office opened, and decided to cover every single surface in my workspace with sticky notes detailing exactly why he hates me, and what he was going to do about it.” He continued amidst the laughter of the two other men. “And I mean every surface- even my pencils, my stapler, and my photos. Then, when I actually got into work, not till nine like all the other sensible people in this country, the bastard yelled at me all the way through the walk from my car to the coffee machine about how mad he was.”

The three men continued walking and laughing loudly, the tension that had been hanging in the air mostly resolved, until Lafayette sighed almost wistfully. “Ah, my Alexander- heaven knows the man is nonstop.”

Madison nodded and added, “Like a wildfire.”

“The man's more like a hurricane; reckless, powerful, and destroying everything in his path.” Jefferson frowned. “Do you know what he convinced me to do, Laf? I'm going to be working with Hamilton, for an extended period of time, to facilitate the opening of the first private orphanage in New York City.”

“I don't understand how that's a bad thing Thomas, it sounds like a worthy cause to me,” Lafayette offered up.

At the same time, Madison pointed to a street branching off to the right of the men. “We'll need to go down that street there, the café is the third store on the right.”

All three turned the corner and continued speaking. “It's not a bad thing,” Thomas began. “The bad thing is that I am going to be stuck with Hamilton, who I can't stand, all because I couldn't look into his eyes and say no.”

“Oh,” Lafayette's expression turned from barely paying attention to smug intrigue. “Does my little Thomas have something for Alexander Hamilton, a few stray feelings, perhaps?”

Madison had the sense to look scandalized, but all Jefferson's hope for a disgusted response to Lafayette's suggestion was dashed when James commented with a voice dripping fake hurt, “Thomas Jefferson, in love with Alexander Hamilton? I thought I was one of your best friends… I feel so betrayed, why didn't you tell me?”

Thomas just groaned and halted his stride just outside the small café. “You two are children. You immature bastards.”

Both men stopped as well and busted out laughing, Thomas noting sourly that Lafayette might even be tearing up a little bit. Madison turned to Lafayette and grinned. “Maybe I was wrong, maybe they weren't shaking hands in that empty conference room. Maybe they had just confessed their love to each other, and I was interrupting a sweet moment.”

“I can picture it- if you hadn't barged in, James, our Thomas would have leaned in and tenderly kissed dear Alexander-”

“Stop! This stops here. For both of your information, the reason I couldn't say no to Alexander was because he had just recounted his sob story of a life in vivid detail, and emotionally blackmailed me into helping him.” 

Lafayette smiled sincerely and guided the group to the door of the café. “We were only joking, Thomas. And I would say that is a good start- not the emotional blackmail, but the fact that you listened and obviously heard, that you took what Alex had to say into account and let it play a part in your decision. You two may not become best friends, but maybe we can all stand to be in a room together for a drink or two without murdering anyone, no?”

Thomas laughed without much actual joy and opened the door, walking inside the café without really watching where he was heading. “Yeah, that'll be the day. Come the end of this week me and Alexander Hamilton will be holding hands and skipping to work together, and I'll be a Federalist and Hamilton will understand the beauty of an agricultural based society. I can't wait for it.”

From inside the café came a voice that made Thomas's very skin crawl and turn an unsightly shade of red. “Well Jefferson, that sounds nice and all, but, if I were you- which I'm not thank God, I don't know if I could ever drag my ass and love all things country as much as you do- I'd suggest you stop waiting for it.”


	4. Wait For It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet Lafayette the therapist, and Mulligan and Laurens- part time squad and full time annoying little shits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited by WriteNotFight

“Well Jefferson, that sounds nice and all, but, if I were you- which I'm not thank God, I don't know if I could ever drag my ass and love all things country as much as you do- I'd suggest you stop waiting for it.”

Hamilton smirked widely as Jefferson turned, noting with a peculiar satisfaction the, rather cute -  _ Ew Alexander don't you ever think about anything Jefferson like that again that's just wrong-  _ pink tinge to the tips of the man's ears. It wasn't much of a reaction, considering Jefferson hadn't broken out of his cool and graceful persona in the least, but when you fight daily with a creature as naturally aloof and unflappable as Thomas Fucking Jefferson you learn to find the tiniest chinks in his façade and positively _ revel _ in them. Jefferson’s expression settled into a lazy smirk as he looked Alexander up and down. “If you looked like a corpse this morning you look like a wraith now, Hamilton.”

The café was spared from any argument that statement provoked by Lafayette swooping in to hug Alexander and kiss his cheek. “Mon petite Alexander, it's been far too long! Ça va?”

Hamilton smiled brightly, retort forgotten, and embraced his old friend. “Lafayette! I had no idea you were coming!”

“Ah yes, this was a last minute decision. I was asked to come back to America in order to petition for aid in our revolution. “

Alexander immediately felt guilty, and looked sheepishly down at the ground. “About that Laf, I'm really sorry but-”

“No need, Alexander.” Lafayette held up his hand. “I do not fault you for your views, you only wish for the best for America. However, that will not stop me from doing my best to convince you, mon ami,” he finished with a smile and clapped Hamilton on the back, looking past him into the café. “Mon dieu, but what is this! The whole, how you say, squad, is here!” Lafayette strutted, because Lafayette never just walks apparently, to the corner where Laurens and Mulligan were standing to receive him excitedly.

Alexander was left by the door, glaring at Jefferson and Madison. The tension began to build, before both parties remembered their precarious situation with the president, and all the anger fizzled right out of the air. There was a moment of awkward silence, broken by the squad's laughter and conversation, before Hamilton scowled down at the ground and spoke with a pained grimace. “Would the two of you like to join us for, coffee?”

Jefferson sneered and brushed past Hamilton. “Since Gilbert has already been stolen away, I suppose so.”

Hamilton's fists clenched and he mentally counted to ten.  _ Don't murder Jefferson in a public place. Save it for when you're working together on the orphanage, there's bound to be a great opportunity there. _

While Alexander was half-heartedly convincing himself that breaking Jefferson's neck was not, in fact, a good idea, Thomas and James had made their way over to the table where the self-proclaimed squad sat. Alex quickly followed them and took his seat, ignoring the two standing awkwardly while the friends continued to joke. Lafayette was the first one to take pity on the two men. “Thomas, James, please sit.”

“Or, you know, go jump off a cliff.”

“Mulligan, mon dieu, show some decorum.”

As Thomas sat, Madison laughed nervously and began to talk. “Well, you see, I'd really love to stay and chat, but I've got some reports to review, so I think it'd be better if I left. Wonderful evening!” Madison ignored Jefferson's outraged face and speed walked out the door, leaving his friend to groan and pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Ah, don't be so glum, mon chou.”

“Yeah, what's the matter Jefferson, too high and mighty to have coffee with a tailor?” 

Hamilton scoffed and shook his head with affected sadness as Laurens began to laugh himself into a coma in the corner. “And to think I even tried to play nice and invited you to sit with us.”

Lafayette threw an arm over Jefferson's shoulder and laughed, “Now, now, boys. Let's be courteous to Thomas, after all, Alexander, you're already in deep trouble, from what I heard.”

Alex immediately stopped laughing and a petulant pout took over his face. “But, Laf, Jefferson is the one who started it.”

Laurens and Mulligan both stood up at the same time and began to gather their things. “What are you doing?” Alexander questioned.

“Well,” Laurens began, “it seems like this is about to turn into some sort of couples therapy session-”

“And bringing your friends to therapy is just rude Alex. And so weird.”

“So we'll be leaving now!” 

Both Laurens and Mulligan hugged Alexander on their way out, Mulligan including a pat on the back and an inspirational “You'll get through this, buddy. Remember, divorce is only for when all else fails.”

Once the two were gone, Thomas, always the Queen of drama, sighed loudly. “Your friends are idiots, Hamilton. Excepting Lafayette, of course.”

“Well, at least there's something we agree on, Jefferson.” Hamilton replied sullenly.

The three were absolutely silent- Jefferson scowling at some point on the wall, Hamilton sullenly prodding at his cake with a fork, and Lafayette sipping his coffee quietly. This went on for about five minutes before Gilbert set down his coffee and sighed. “I suppose I will have to be the one to initiate this. So, Alexander, are you excited to be working with the children?”

“Of course.”

After a moment of further silence, Lafayette turned to Jefferson. “What about you, Thomas?”

The man snorted and folded his arms. “The logistics of this project I think I can handle, but children don't tend to flock to me, and in turn I don't seek them out.”

“You don't hate kids, mon ami-”

“I don't hate them, Gilbert. In fact I am rather good with children-” Here Hamilton snorted, prompting Jefferson to turn in his seat. “What, Hamilton? “

“Just, I can understand why kids don't approach you. You're about as fun as a sack of potatoes.”

Lafayette laughed at Thomas's indignant face and smiled. “See? This is good. This, what's the word, banter. You aren't biting each other's heads off, just having a little back and forth.”

Both Hamilton and Jefferson looked down at the table and acted distracted. Lafayette just sighed, “I swear, sometimes you two act like children. It's a wonder Washington hasn't blown up until now. Well, I want both of you to promise me something. This is an important project, you both know this, and I know you agreed to work together and not kill each other, but I want you to promise me that you won't just be civil.”

Thomas looked at Laf through narrowed eyes. “What are you suggesting Gilbert?”

“I am requesting that the two of you attempt to get to know each other and move past all this ridiculous hatred and contempt.”

Alexander was incredulous. “Lafayette, we already know each other. And we have good reason to hate each other- we don't agree on anything!”

“No, mon lapin, you don't know each other, really. All you know is that your political views contradict each other. I want you to, by the end of this project, be able to distinguish between the Secretaries of the Treasury and State, and Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson. Can you do that? All I ask is that you try. “

Hamilton was ready to go off, but he was beat by Jefferson. “Fine. We'll try.” Alex turned sharply and stared, open-mouthed, at Jefferson, who just sighed and quipped, “Well, Hamilton?”

With a resigned expression and a pained sigh, Alexander acquiesced. “Fine. I promise, Laf.”

Lafayette smiled broadly. “Perfect, thank you. I can't wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want more Jamilton, check out some of WriteNotFight's stuff! Some super cute, bite-sized pieces :)
> 
> If you happen to ship Hamburr (I know that's not an official ship name but come on it's pretty fun), we've got a new fic with some hilarious antics up called More Than Anyone Bargained For :)


	5. Talk Less

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's time for Hamilton and Jefferson to suck it up and work together- but something is a little off with Alexander this morning, and Jefferson surprisingly isn't so fond of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is unedited, except by myself, but I think I caught most everything XD

“Where the fuck is that sorry excuse for a man,” Jefferson muttered as he stalked through the halls. Today was the beginning of his little joint punishment with Alexander, if you didn't count the constant teasing and rather painful agreement with Gilbert as punishment, and their train over to the other side of the city, where the orphanage was located, left in a half hour. Hamilton was, of course, nowhere to be found. “I swear, if he doesn't show up I'm actually going to kill him. Or worse- I'll have Washington force him to take a break. No meetings, no writing, nothing! He can shrivel up and die from lack of communication with the political world!”

“Those are some pretty heavy threats for seven thirty in the morning on a Saturday, Thomas.” Jefferson jumped and backtracked to the last open door he passed, which happened to be the break room, and sighed inwardly when he met the eyes of his commentator. “Burr. Good morning.”  _ Goddamnit of all the bastards that work here I can't even find the one I want- fucking Burr at seven thirty in the morning, I'm not sure I can keep up the politeness. _

Aaron Burr was leaning on the counter, leisurely sipping a cup of coffee. “So, what did our dear Alexander do to warrant your ire this week? “

Jefferson sighed and carded hit fingers through his hair. “Our train over to the orphanage leaves in twenty-five minutes, and I've been trying to get ahold of the man for the last hour and a half.”

Burr shook his head and laughed, “Of course. Well, I happen to know that when I arrived at five this morning Alexander was holed up in his office, and probably had been all night. “

Thomas groaned and got two cups down from the cabinet, filling one with ice water and the other with the coffee left in the pot Burr had made. All the while Thomas was grumbling unhappily and doing his best to ignore Aaron, who was looking far too amused. As soon as he put a lid on the coffee Thomas turned to walk out the door, pretending not to hear Burr when he commented from his perch with a laugh that he wished Thomas luck.

Jefferson once again started to stalk through the halls towards Hamilton's office, barely noticing when James Madison ran up beside him. “What are you doing Thomas? Shouldn't you be at the subway station by now?”

“Hamilton has apparently been here all night, “ Jefferson growled, turning a corner sharply.

“And you know this how?” Madison snorted.

“Burr.”

“Ew, you like Burr? I never pegged you for the type.”

Jefferson scoffed. “Are you kidding me? No one likes Burr. The man doesn't believe in anything, completely indifferent except to his own advancement. “

“That's a little harsh Thomas, I mean, I don't like him, but I think you're just in an awful mood right now.”

“I'm not in a bad mood,” Jefferson snarled. “I just need to find Hamilton, shove this coffee down his throat and drag him to the station so we can get this project started and done with already. “

“Well,” Madison clapped Thomas on the back when the two stopped in front of Hamilton's office door, “don't kill the man- Washington would never forgive you.”

The door made a loud sound as Jefferson threw it open, standing in the doorway with steam practically pouring off him. “Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Alexander was asleep with his head on his desk, hair loose and wild, papers scattered everywhere and face and hands littered with smears of ink.  _ Good lord, I can't wait to see his face… _

Thomas walked briskly over to the desk and promptly poured the cup of ice water over Hamilton's head. He quickly stepped back as the man screamed in an unusually high octave, jumping up and batting at his head, before he eventually stilled and turned to Jefferson, who was laughing loudly. “What the hell Jefferson.”

Thomas only smirked at the horrified expression on Hamilton's face, shoving the cup of coffee into his hand. “We have somewhere to be. You were asleep. Now drink that, and we can go catch our train.” He turned to walk out the door before pausing and turning back around. “Oh, and I almost forgot. I am going nowhere with you looking like that. Come here and let's fix you up with your usual disgusting man-bun.” 

Jefferson ignored Alexander's protest and began to wrestle his hair into a half bun. Halfway through Alex seemed to give up and started chugging his coffee in-between insults. “Jesus, Jefferson, of course you'd be a morning person. Morning people are the fucking scum of the earth- of course you'd be one of them! How are you even so annoying at seven forty-five in the morning? “

Jefferson scoffed and released Hamilton's hair, making a show of wiping off his hands. “Unlike you, Hamilton, I am not a vampire. I sleep at decent hours for decent amounts of time, and I don't stay up all night working myself into the ground. Now, I have been up for two hours looking for you and we need to go.”

Alexander only groaned and crumpled his now empty coffee cup in his hand. “Seriously? I fell asleep two hours ago!”

Thomas responded with a shrug of his shoulders. “That's too bad Hamilton, because we have a commitment. Come on boy, to the subway!”

Hamilton was apparently so exhausted that Jefferson's patronizing tone didn't even register, and rather than fire back and argue he simply stumbled for the door. Jefferson's eyebrows rose and he quickly followed. “You know, I think I might actually be able to like you when you're tired. You are infinitely more docile. Maybe I could even get you to agree with me in an argument.”

“Fat chance Jefferson.”

“Remember  _ Alex _ , play nice. We wouldn't want to upset Gilbert.”

“Fuck off, I'm tired.”

 

\-----------------------------------------------------

 

After a subway ride that was surprisingly quiet, considering Jefferson's excellent mood and Hamilton's natural inclination towards word vomiting, the men were standing outside the building soon to be christened the first private orphanage in New York City. 

“Here we are, Hamilton.” Alex grunted. “Let's go in and find Miss Schuyler.” A shrug. “Why are you so silent? I know you hardly slept but that's never stopped you before in our meetings.”

Hamilton only groaned and rubbed a hand over his face,  _ and are his ears turning red? I may be relaxed but it's just not in my nature to pass up a chance like this.  _ “Are you blushing Hamilton! Is there a reason for your silence that goes past your meager two hours of sleep?”

Hamilton shook his head and quickly took off for the front door of the orphanage. This only made Jefferson more interested, which, poor Hamilton, made him more determined to pester the man. “What is it, Alex? If you don't respond I guess I'll just be forced to assume you've suddenly been struck dumb by my charm and grace and are too embarrassed to speak.”

Alexander broke his blessed silence with a disgusted noise. “No, no, absolutely not. You know what? Fine. After our agreement with Laf I realized that I didn't exactly know how to be friendly to you, so I went to Aaron Burr-” Jefferson snorted, but Hamilton just plowed on. “I went to Burr and he said that my main problem is that I really talk too much and don't ever think about what I'm saying, especially when I get nervous or excited or angry, and I just start to babble and get myself in trouble-”

“You mean, you start to do what you're doing right now.”

“I- yes. So basically, Burr told me that I should talk a little bit less if I didn't want to start a fight with you.” 

Hamilton actually looked embarrassed, a sight that made Jefferson laugh a little bit on the inside because it gave him the look of a puppy more than a political rival. “Hamilton, I don't think you should listen to Burr. Honestly- this silence is so disconcerting I think it might be doing more harm than good. Your hotheadedness and verbose, if totally unfounded and incorrect, rants are the only reason I'm never truly bored during a meeting. Your little penchant for argument makes me work overtime to make sure everyone knows how disgustingly wrong you are.” Alexander just stared blankly.  _ Jesus Christ, this man is thick.  _ “In short, Hamilton, silence doesn’t suit you- and it worries me. It makes it seem like you're plotting something, and God knows if you actually took the time to plan something out you might actually have a chance of making sense.”

Jefferson stood smirking at Hamilton, who was still staring rather incredulously and seemed to be struggling to force his sleep deprived brain to formulate a witty response. Before he could come up with anything, though, Eliza Schuyler appeared in the doorway and smiled brightly at the men. “Excellent, you're both here! Come in, please, we have a lot of work to do! Thank you both so much for offering your services…” 

The two men quickly followed her inside, hanging back slightly and tracing in her confident steps through the hall. Hamilton was scowling rather impressively at the floor, in his petulance not even noticing the few small children already running through the building. Hamilton's extended silence was beginning to seriously irritate Jefferson, whose good mood demanded some sort of interaction, even if it was trading insults with the most insufferable creature on earth. An idea came to him, and Jefferson smirked and raised an eyebrow at Hamilton. “You know, Hamilton, even though talk less isn't the advice you should take from Burr- if anything Burr says should ever be taken as advice, which it shouldn't- you could stand to smile more. I think you're scaring the children.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cutting it close here with the weekly update at 11 PM...


	6. Handsome, Boy Does He Know It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander gets bored on the first day of the project and Eliza has a rather telling conversation with Thomas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late post, college essays have been eating up my writing time, but it's up!

“Hamilton, would you look at this contract and tell me what you think we should do about the third clause? That definitely can't stay.” Jefferson's request was met with complete and total silence. He sighed and stuck his head through the doorway of the office where Hamilton had been moments prior. “Hamilton, I'm asking you a question! If you're asleep I swear this time I will pour the coffee and not- oh Lord. “ When he saw that Hamilton was not asleep, and in fact want even in the room, Thomas groaned and rubbed a hand over his face.  _ How did he even get out? I've been pacing in this hallway right outside the door this whole time, so how did that bastard get out? _ Thomas set the contract they were supposed to be reviewing and editing for Eliza on the table and started walking back towards where Eliza had said the young children already there were playing, relying more on the sounds of screaming and laughter than his memory of the halls.

The joyful ruckus led him to the wide double doors of a large room, mostly empty but for some toys, balls, six excitable children, and one overly energetic Secretary of the Treasury. All the kids in the room, including Hamilton, looked happy and carefree, prompting Jefferson to wait in the doorway for a few minutes. He may be a charming and graceful and, as Hamilton so quaintly likes to put it, prissy southern gentleman, but he was never one to begrudge some children the happiness of play.

“He's quite good with the children, isn't he?”

The sudden question startled Jefferson, but he relaxed back into his natural lazy grace when he saw it was only Eliza. “Yes, he does have a certain fondness for them. You know, that man somehow managed to sneak past me while we were going through your contracts and magically found his way here.”

Eliza shook her head and laughed, “Of course he did. That man is a menace. Don't worry though, I don't need the contacts finished until next week. Would you happen to… “ Here Eliza trailed off and a faint blush coated her cheeks.

Thomas raised an eyebrow at Eliza's flushed, embarrassed expression. “Would I happen to what, Miss Schuyler?”

She sighed and bit her lip. “Would you happen to know if he's, involved, with anyone currently?”

Jefferson felt a small spike of irritation at Eliza's question.  _ Of course, I'd forgotten that despite all his glaringly obvious shortcomings, somehow Hamilton can still cause any woman in the room to swoon on sight. I will not be pleased if she starts distracting him, though I bet he'd still pick playing with children over any sort of romantic activity.  _ He cleared his throat. “Technically, yes. But Alexander Hamilton is most definitely married to his job.”

Eliza tilted her head. “And in his free time?”

“In his free time Hamilton has wildly passionate affairs with his writing,” Jefferson snorted.

A quiet giggle escaped Eliza. “Ah, that's a shame.”

Jefferson sighed dramatically, “Really though, Miss Schuyler, I have no idea what sort of appeal you and every other woman in America find in Hamilton. The man's a complete and utter slob, and has no capacity to care for himself properly. Disgusting. “

She hummed and smiled, looking over at the man in question. “True, but he is rather attractive- and charming when he wants to be.”

Thomas turned to study Hamilton, taking in the dark hair and eyes, and noting how, with his face brightened by a smile, he actually very attractive. “It's too bad that he's Alexander Hamilton. If I didn't know him yet, I suppose I could find him charming.”

Miss Schuyler tilted her head and looked questioningly at Jefferson, who simply shrugged and replied, “I'm rather too familiar with him, Miss Schuyler. Years of verbal abuse, early mornings, late nights, and seeing Hamilton power through days on an hour of sleep and five cups of coffee have made me impervious to any charming qualities the man may possess. “

Eliza smiled and laughed. “That does make sense, Mr. Jefferson, but don't think I didn't notice how you neglected to comment on his attractiveness.”

Jefferson reigned in the surprised expression that was struggling to surface and responded with careful indifference. “Nothing kills attraction better than status as a Federalist, Miss Schuyler.”

That comment had Eliza laughing and smiling, and caused Hamilton to pause in his activities and look over. “Hey Jefferson, stop flirting and come play tag with us!”

Thomas shook his head and looked to Eliza. “May I postpone the issue of your contracts even further to go play tag, Miss Schuyler?”

Eliza smiled brightly and waved her hand dismissively. “Oh, those contracts are only technically the legal documents I have to have in order to legally house the children that are already here. Go for it.”

Jefferson smiled and walked over to where Alexander was currently talking through the rules. As soon as Thomas was within grabbing distance one of the little girls was all over him, and he easily picked her up and set the giggling child on his hip. “And who do we have here?”

She giggled and said “Lina!”

“Lina? What a gorgeous name.”

The little girl blushed and smiled shyly, reaching out to play with Thomas's hair. Hamilton raised am eyebrow and laughed. “Wow Jefferson, I didn't know you were good with kids! I always figured you hated kids, or that if you were ever near one you'd be so cold and cruel that they'd cry and run away.”

Jefferson sniffed haughtily and turned up his nose. “Yes, well, you’re wrong. As usual. By the way, Alexander?” 

Hamilton looked up, shocked and possibly offended by the use of his first name. Jefferson just grinned and nodded at Lina, who leaned over and tapped Hamilton on the cheek. Well, it was less of a tap and more of a smack, but Thomas wouldn't complain. “You're it.”

Alex stood stunned for a moment as all the children, including Thomas and Lina, scattered with squeaks of delight at the start of the game. Soon, though, he grinned and started to run. “Well played, but just you wait Jefferson!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next we'll get to check in with our supporting characters~


	7. More Than Anyone Bargained For

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza wants to talk about how our boys are doing working together, and consensus is that the answer is probably shitty, but they are in for one heck of a surprise...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing a week y'all, but church activities and visiting conservative family don't mix well with gay historical fanfiction... Who knew?

“Remind me why we're going to this place?” Mulligan groaned as he was pulled down the sidewalk behind an irritated John Laurens.

“Because Miss Schuyler asked very nicely, Hercules.” Laurens never faltered in his brisk pace, despite having to literally drag Mulligan as he shuffled his feet despondently.

“But John,” Hercules whined, “I don't understand why we've gotta go! What could some bratty rich socialite want from a tailor and a political activist?”

John sighed and turned a corner sharply, roughly swinging Mulligan around and smiling to himself when the man stumbled and swore loudly. “First of all, I'm sure Miss Schuyler isn't a brat. From what I managed to glean about her interspersed throughout Alexander’s rant on the adorable children, she was perfectly polite and very kind. Secondly, she is essentially Hamilton's boss in this project, which means that her calling us to meet her is a good indicator that he's either being a douche or, more likely, he hasn't slept in a week and she thinks that something is seriously wrong with him.”

“But it's perfectly normal, I'm sure Jefferson has already told her that it's just an Alexander thing, why do we have to bother? “

“Jesus Hercules why are you so whiny today?”

“Because I'm tired, and I could be sitting on my couch watching Netflix right now, or even going to the gym or getting ahead on some work, but instead I'm going to some frou-frou tea shop to talk about one of my best friend's problems. “

John sighed and shook his head. “Well Mulligan, Miss Schuyler may not be a brat, but she is still a rich socialite like you said. I'd be rather concerned if she frequented the types of establishments that you prefer.”

“Hey man, I'll have you know that my regular places are the epitome of class and sophistication, just like yours truly.”

“Ha,” Laurens laughed, “sure.” The rest of their walk was silent, barring Mulligan's muffled swearing as he stumbled along behind a smirking Laurens.

Finally they could see the storefront of their destination across the street, and Laurens jogged over quickly, still half dragging Mulligan, but as he reached for the door somebody roughly collided with him and sent all three men involved tumbling to the ground. 

“Fucking shit! Watch it you asshole, I - Madison?”

Dazed and only moderately shocked by Mulligan's outburst, James Madison simply sat gaping on the sidewalk. Laurens saw Hercules open his mouth and quickly sat up, cutting him off with a question to Madison. “Mr. Madison, I'm sorry about that. What brings you here?”

James blinked and recovered his Jefferson-esque brand of composure, replying “I'm here to meet with Miss Eliza Schuyler about, something to do with Jefferson. What are you two doing here? This doesn't seem like a place you’d frequent Mulligan.”

“What is that supposed to mean? I'm not classy or something? I'm the most calm, sexy, high class person in this entire damn country!”

“No,” Laurens interrupted, “You're not.”

“Stupid politicians and friends, thinking I can't handle being all prissy and uptight like Elizabeth freaking Schuyler,” Mulligan muttered, skulking and continuing under his breath.

Laurens ignored Mulligan in favor of addressing the more pressing issue. “We were asked to meet with Miss Schuyler here as well, and we assumed it would be about Alex.”

James groaned and ran a hand through his hair. “Good lord, I bet Jefferson killed Hamilton… Probably drugged his coffee or strangled him to death to get him to shut up.”

Laurens rubbed his eyes and sighed, “I don't know. My money's on Alex having stabbed Jefferson with a pencil, or maybe he just literally smothered him to death with essays upon essays about economic policy.”

“This is going to necessitate so much paperwork, and news interviews, I can't believe Thomas would do this to me.”

About five minutes were spent sitting on the sidewalk in front of the tea shop and bemoaning all the possible trouble Alex and Thomas could have possibly caused for Eliza in such a short amount of time. All the while, Mulligan was quietly stewing his resentment at not being seen as classy.

The little pow-wow was brought to an embarrassing halt when Elizabeth Schuyler herself walked up to tea shop and, looking down her nose and towering over the three men, sighed dramatically. “Well, I guess I can see where Jefferson and Hamilton got some of their childishness from. I mean really- how long have the three of you been sitting here arguing like overgrown children?”

All three men blushed furiously and stood as quickly as humanly possible, only Madison apologizing profusely. Eliza raised an eyebrow and looked at Laurens’ and Mulligan's attempt at an indifferent expression. “And I can see where Alex gets his lack of appreciation for social cues and politeness.”

“Our apologies,” Laurens began with a charming smile, “but we were discussing why you might have invited us here.”

“Nobody's dead right?” Mulligan interceded.

Eliza looked shocked, and then laughed loudly. “Dead? No- nobody is dead, I assure you. There are just a few questions I wanted to ask you three about the nature of Thomas and Alexander's relationship. But first, let's stop blocking the doorway and go order inside. They serve the most delicious little tea cakes-” Eliza's voice petered off as she swept inside, leaving the three men confused in her wake.

“The nature of their relationship? What the fuck?”

“I agree Hercules. Madison?”

Both of Hamilton's friends turned to look at the Democratic Republican question, who simply shrugged and gestured that they should follow Eliza inside.

 

\-------------------------------------------------

  
  


The atmosphere inside the tea shop was tense, but Eliza seemed completely oblivious. She was idly chatting about everything from the awful traffic to the adorable children already admitted into the orphanage. Laurens and Madison tried to seem politely interested in her rambling, but neither could quite shake the worry that one of their friends had made some grievous mistake, probably involving some sort of felony-level assault. While those two nodded along and cast concerned glances at each other, Hercules was glaring distrustfully at his tea. And the tiny pastries. And the frilly napkins, brightly colored decorations, and flowers sitting on the table. It certainly didn't help that he wasn't interested in what Eliza had to say at all- he was very tempted to butt in and ask her to get this meeting over with. Laurens had set his hand on Mulligan's knee, and had already been forced to dig his nails in more than once to keep his friend from interrupting. The awkwardness continued for ten minutes with Eliza either not noticing or not caring before Mulligan broke.

“I'm sorry Schuyler, that all sounds great but I'd really like to know why we're really here, and who needs to bail who out of jail and force an apology. And fuck John!” Mulligan pulled his leg away from Laurens’ claws and whined, “I think you drew blood! I mean I always suspected you were freaky but damn, blood play is a little far, man. Kind of a turnoff for me.”

Eliza, who had been in the middle of a story about a boy named Ajay demanding Hamilton let him help edit one of his essays, sat open-mouthed and stared. Laurens had turned an alarming shade of red and seemed frozen to the spot, while Madison was struggling to stifle laughter behind his hand. 

“What?” Mulligan seemed genuinely confused. “Did I say something?”

“That, wow.” Eliza set her cup down gently and started to laugh. “Alex was right, you all are hilarious! I was starting to doubt it because you were being so quiet and sullen, and I mean it wouldn't surprise me if he just thought you were fun because half the time he's sleep deprived and hallucinating, but-”

“Pardon me, Eliza,” Madison managed through a laugh, “but could we jump to what you needed us for? I'm due for an interview in an hour.”

Eliza smiled kindly and replied, “Of course! Obviously I wanted to talk to you about Hamilton and Jefferson, the way they behave and act around each other.”

Laurens groaned dramatically. “Please tell me we don't need to pay you for anything because I really can't afford to be Hamilton's damage control.”

“No, no, nothing that,” she laughed. “And no one's in jail, either, so you can relax Mulligan. No, I just really wanted to ask you if there's anything going on between the two of them.”

“Going on?” Mulligan asked. “What do you mean by that?”

“Like, I don't know,” Eliza's hands fluttered around for a few seconds, “feelings?”

Madison took a sip of his coffee and calmly replied, “There are certainly a vast quantity of feelings between the two, yes.”

Eliza brightened and eagerly asked “Really?”

After a solemn nod James set down his cup and folded his arms across his chest. “Yes, absolutely. Feelings like hatred, disgust, repulsion, and annoyance. All totally mutual, of course.”

Laurens wiped at his eyes and sniffed dramatically. “It's truly a beautiful thing to witness.”

“No, that's not what I meant.” Eliza huffed and tugged at her hair. “I mean, are they together? Like, dating together?”

Mulligan, who had finally taken a single sip of his tea, turned to Madison and spat it out, with an overly shocked expression on his face. “Dating? Don't be ridiculous.” He ignored Madison glaring as he wiped his face with a napkin. “Alex hates Jefferson. And vice versa, I assume.”

Laurens laughed and shook his head. “There's just no way.”

Eliza frowned and tilted her head, seeming to debate whether she should continue, before she started to explain. “Well, it's just that, seeing them work together at the orphanage, it's really easy to see them in a relationship together.”

Mulligan sighed and leaned forward over table. “Look. Have you walked in on them having sex? Is that why? Because if so, I can assure you it's hate fucking. Purely cathartic. No love.”

John quickly smacked Mulligan and turned to Eliza. “What he means is that if anything were going on, we'd know. And we don't, and the last time we saw them in a room together they tried to kill each other, so it's just not likely.”

Madison, throughout this whole interchange, had been quietly listening and spoke up. “What exactly made you that, Miss Schuyler? Specifics, if you would.”

Eliza smiled and giggled a little before setting off. “Well, Jefferson has admitted that Hamilton is attractive, and I know that Hamilton is interested in men because he used to date you, Laurens. Past that is just the way they interact- always teasing, and practically obsessing over each other! And Jefferson makes sure that Alex actually eats and sleeps enough to survive, saying it's only because he needs him functional for this project but really it's so sweet.”

“So basically,” Laurens began, “your reasoning is that they act like an old married couple and Jefferson doesn't want Hamilton to die?”

Mulligan snorted and picked up his napkin, tearing it into small shreds. “He's probably just afraid he'd get blamed for it and end up in jail.”

Eliza pouted and folded her arms. “Well, okay. So they aren't together. But I think would be a great couple. And I think it'd be a waste not to cultivate that potential.”

Immediately Laurens and Mulligan started to make gagging noises and protests, until Madison interrupted. “I think that's a great idea.” He plowed on before the others could drop their stunned faces. “I don't know about Hamilton, but Thomas hasn't had any since he got back from France. He's totally out and has a stick up his ass, and I think having a dick up his ass might help a little.”

“Well, I don't want them to just hook up, Mr. Madison. I think they could be serious.”

Madison shrugged and responded, “Honestly Miss Schuyler, I'm not sure how well that will work out, but any chance for a less snappy Jefferson and I'm in. What about the two of you?”

Mulligan quickly turned to Laurens with a serious look on his face. “John, James Madison just talked about sex and cursed in the same sentence. It's a sign we have to do this.”

John just sighed and rubbed his face in his hands. “What exactly do you want us to do? If they suspect anything you realize any progress on the whole ‘able to be in the same room without an explosion’ deal will go to shit.”

“Don't worry.” The smile on Eliza's face was mischievous and so reminiscent of her sister Angelica that all three men shuddered a little. “They already spend so much time together, they just need a little push, and they'll be helpless…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to regular updates~ Next we'll be back to following around our favorite political enemies!


	8. Take a Break Part I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette is leaving for France soon, but first he wants to see what the squad had been talking about concerning his two favorite politicians...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, I am so sorry that I haven't updated in a few weeks. Falling out with my family meant I couldn't write for a while, but I should be back on track after this chapter:) In order to get something to you guys as soon as possible this chapter will be split into 2-3 parts, posted during the week, anda full update on Sunday:)

“Uuuuuugh.”

“Hamilton.”

“Uuuuuugh.”

“Hamilton!”

“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.”

“ALEXANDER!”

“WHAT!” The Secretary of State looked glumly over at Jefferson from his desk, not even bothering to lift his head off of the pile of paperwork sitting there. Jefferson was standing in the doorway of Hamilton's office, glaring at the man with an intense energy that instantly irritated Alex.  _ What a bastard. _

“I have been trying to get your attention for the last half hour. You wouldn't pick up the phone, or respond to emails, and I've been standing here yelling at you for at least three minutes.”

Alex started fiddling with the papers by his head and pouted impishly. “You have my attention now.”

“Right.” Thomas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lafayette called to invite us out for drinks tonight.”

Alex stared for a moment, and then turned his head away from Thomas. “No.”

“And why not?”

Hamilton sighed dramatically and waved a hand vaguely in the air. “You know. Because.”

Thomas's right eyebrow arched elegantly, prompting Alexander to groan internally and turn away again.  _ Stupid southerner with his stupid elegant eyebrows. _

“Well Alexander, I wasn't aware you thought of me as elegant,“ Thomas sounded amused, which only irked Hamilton further. “Next you'll be telling me you find me charming.”

A rush of blood colored Alexander's cheeks pink, and the man thanked heaven that Thomas couldn't see it. “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yes, you did. Now, I'd love to hear you wax poetic about my exceedingly fine features, but Laf needs an answer now.”

“I told you no.” Alexander insisted sullenly. “I've got… Work.”

“Work,” Thomas snorted, “we're cabinet members of the United States of America. We always have work. And I know you prefer to run yourself into the ground, but Lafayette goes back to France tomorrow. Take a break. I'm sure he would appreciate seeing you again.”

Alexander sighed and sat up with a groan, reaching for his cup of coffee and knocking three empty ones onto the floor in the process. "Fine. I'll go." He lifted the cup to his lips and grimaced at the cold, bitter coffee. "Hey, cold and bitter. Just like you."

"Ha, " Thomas snorted, "You're hilarious, Hamilton. Really. So quick-witted."

"Alas, " Alex shrugged and grinned as he stretched his arms over his head. "I admit it."

"I bet you were quite the lawyer, " Jefferson mused with a slight upturn of his lips.

"Well, my defendants got acquitted. That has to count for something."

"Yeah, well someone ought to remind you, " Jefferson looked at Hamilton with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"What?" 

"You're nothing without Washington behind you." Jefferson smiled at Hamilton's stunned face and practically strutted out of the room, laughing as Alexander sputtered incredulously behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank y'all for sticking with it, everything should be good from here on out!


	9. Take a Break pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette is really loving Jamilton, but he just can't help himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2~

_ Shit shit shit shit!  _ Alexander slammed into another person as he continued his mad dash through the streets. The woman sent an offended glare in Hamilton's direction, who yelled an apology that likely got lost in the crowd. Finally, Alexander arrived at the doors of the bar where he was supposed to meet Lafayette and Jefferson an hour ago. Thomas had come by and offered Hamilton a ride to the bar a half hour early, but Alex was working on an essay and in his frenzied state may have accidentally thrown a stapler at Jefferson's head. Alex had planned to be on time, really, but a five page essay turned into a twenty five page pamphlet, and here he was, walking into a crowded bar on Main Street and sheepishly grinning at the two bemused-but-exasperated figures sitting at a booth in the corner.

“Ah, mon petit Alexander.” Lafayette stood and held his arms open as Hamilton approached, giving the man a hug and ushering him into an empty seat. “You're late. What, too busy writing to come visit a friend?”

Alex laughed and pulled his wild hair back into a half bun, clapping Gilbert on the back. “I'm sorry, Laf. I just had an idea, and once I started it just kept coming.”

“I understand. Thomas is right, you really do write like you're running out of time; you are a force to be reckoned with.”

One of Alexander's eyebrows rose and he turned to Jefferson and asked, “Were you two talking about me?” At Jefferson's smug nod Alex continued, “A force to be reckoned with- I'm going to take that as a compliment.”

“Ha!” Jefferson snorted. “It certainly wasn't meant as one.”

Alexander did his best impression of what he liked to privately, and publicly, call Jefferson's ‘snooty Southern bastard’ face: Head held high, a small pretentious sniff, and majestic flip of the hair. “Well, that's just too bad. Because it sounds to me like you might actually respect me. Just a little. Enough to consider me a threat. I'm quite touched.”

A smile bloomed on Lafayette's face, and he decided to keep quiet in the hopes that his two friends would continue their banter for him to observe. And it did continue, as Thomas quickly responded. “Well, even though most of your ideas are blatantly wrong, you are a threat because for some reason a lot of the country has taken a very misguided liking to you.” 

Alexander smirked and laughed. “You’re just mad because I'm Washington's favorite.”

Thomas sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Well, there's that. But I'm more mad because you're clearly going to hell and dragging this country with you. Those poor citizens don't know what they're getting into, backing you. You're going to be the death of me.”

“Really?” Alex sniffed and pretended to wipe a tear from his eye. “Because that's all I've ever wanted in life. That would just make my day.”

Smirking, Thomas leaned forward. “Well, I'm sorry to inform you, but I'm almost positive you'll write yourself to death, or forget to eat and starve, or make some rash decision and die in a duel before your stupidity finally gives me a heart attack.”

Lafayette truly did want the banter to continue, it wasn't every day you got to see two of your best friends who absolutely -at least he thought- hated each other exchange in adorable witty repartee that sounded a lot like flirting, but mon dieu this was just too much. He managed to cut off all conservation within ten tables as he hid his face in his hands and began to laugh, loudly, drawing the surprised expressions of his two friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ends at an odd place but there's at least 1 more part to this chapter!


	10. Take A Break Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lafayette gives Hamilton some new ideas...that Hamilton doesn't really know what to do with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time y'all...let's get right to it! No excuses XD

Jefferson and Hamilton immediately recoiled, as if being that close had burned them, and slunk back in their seats, their guilty and embarrassed faces unnatural expressions for both of them. Their awkward stares quickly turned to heated glares as Lafayette's laughter didn't subside for a good few minutes — the Frenchman's face was a deeper shade of red that Jefferson's ears, and he had gone from emitting boisterous laughter to gasping and wheezing painfully, a few tears falling from his eyes. Jefferson, seeing no sign of Laf's amusement dimming down any time soon, stood and with Hamilton-like abruptness excused himself to go to the restroom, leaving Alexander and Gilbert alone at the table.

As soon as Thomas was out of sight, Alex rounded on Laf and roughly slugged his arm. "What the hell, Laffayette! What was that all about?"

Gil didn't flinch in the slightest, but only raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! It's just, you two are so....so..."

Alex raised an eyebrow and prompted Laf to continue. "We're so...?"

"You know, oh, how do you say..." Lafayette waved a hand around, as if trying to pluck the perfect word out of the air. "Cute. Cute together, I mean."

For the first time Lafayette could remember, Alexander Hamilton was well and truly speechless. He sat straight in his seat, staring at his friend with an expression of horrified surprise, opening and closing his mouth like a fish thrown out of water. Laf decided not to elaborate yet, and instead smiled sweetly and rested his head on his hands, soaking up the glorious silence — as he was sure he would never witness this Alexander again. Of course, the small man quickly rediscovered his words. Kind of.

"You...I...Thomas? Jefferson! Bastard...me? Cute?"

That seemed to be the extent of Alexander's retrieved eloquence, so Laf quickly jumped in before the already red man exploded. "Yes! You know, mon ami, you two have your differences, very large ones, but I can't help but notice that you would do so well together. You already tease and bicker like an old married couple, it really is adorable."

Hamilton stared at his old friend with a mixture of shock and disgust on his face, which Lafayette assumed spawned from the idea of Alex and Thomas being cute together. However, Laf was shocked when Alex simply looked down at the table and muttered a petulant, "But he's a democratic republican."

Hamilton's remark came out sounding like the insolent whine of a child, and Laf laughed indulgently before patting his friend on the shoulder. "There have been more mismatched couples than this, Hamilton. And more forbidden...think, how do you say, forbidden love! Like Romeo and Juliette."

"They died, Lafayette." Alex shrugged the hand off his shoulder. "Their 'forbidden love' was a disaster. Plus, I don't love Jefferson — I don't even like him! He's just a stupid, self righteous, southern bastard who only cares about himself. And he's definitely not cute."

"You know, Hamilton, " Laf wheedled, nudging his friend in the side with his elbow and sending him a teasing smile, "you're always so caught up in your work, never having any fun...a relationship — a real one, not just some fling like with that Mariah girl — might be just what you need! Loosen up a little, have a little fun..."

Hamilton groaned and whacked Lafayette across the arm. "No! Absolutely not! No way in hell am I even going to think about that!"

"Good. In fact, Hamilton, better you stop thinking at all — in your case it can only lead to a country in turmoil." The sound of Jefferson's voice from behind him made Hamilton jump nearly out of his seat, and he unconsciously leaned away from the man as he sat down and towards Lafayette. When no sharp tongued response came, Jefferson raised an eyebrow at his political nemesis. "Hamilton? Are you getting sick? You certainly are red. Not that I mind the silence, but if you keel over and die now I'll have to help Eliza Schuyler myself, and frankly I don't want to."

Hamilton only glared intensely at the table, so Lafayette quickly chimed in. "Oh, no, he's merely thinking about a...minor suggestion I gave him. And you will think about, won't you Alexander?"

With both Lafayette and Jefferson's eyes on him, Hamilton nodded. "Yes. I will." Mimicking Jefferson's abrupt departure just a few minutes earlier, Alexander stood and quickly turned from the table. "I have to leave."

The two remaining men watched Alexander's rapidly retreating form with surprise, until finally Jefferson turned and questioned, "What is wrong with that man?"

Lafayette simply smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Heaven knows. Let's have a drink."

* * *

 


End file.
